Dearest Habbos,
The Great Habbo Ham Shortage of 2024 is nearing a close, but not without leaving behind a legacy of chaos, greed, and – dare I say it – utter hilarity.
And just when we thought the drama had cooled, another revelation has stirred the pot! From greedy hoarders to harmless hopefuls, and now the suggestion of replacing hams with coal, it’s safe to say this saga has given us more than we ever imagined – much like the inventories of those who claimed hundreds of hams.
Let’s break down the juiciest details so far.
Ham: The Gift That Keeps On… Taking?
To the untrained eye, the Ham Givers seemed like a festive delight. But to the tech-savvy (and let’s admit it, slightly cynical) among us, it was clear that this is a test – a juicy experiment in giving that may have spiraled out of control. The Ham Givers were stocked with thousands of hams; enough to feed a small nation, or in our case, 300 very eager players. Yet, within hours, the stock was gone, claimed faster than you can say “Where’s my Ham?”.
The Top Five: Who Are They?
Their identities remain a mystery (for now), but what we do know is that five ambitious Habbos have claimed more than half of the total hams distributed. Was it strategic? Opportunistic? Or simply the thrill of clicking “Trade” 1,000 times in a row?
To put it in perspective:
- That’s an average of 1,312 hams per person.
- If stacked end to end, the hams would stretch across the hotel’s public rooms twice over.
The numbers never lie, dear Habbos. This simple experiment – a playful, festive test of our community’s love for free items. And oh, how we delivered. To date:
- Over 10,000 hams have been claimed by our community of roughly 300 active players.
- The top five hoarders have taken 6,560 hams between them.
- The reigning Ham Emperor sits atop an inventory of 2,500 joints. And the clicker, readers? That’s a completely different person who held yesterdays top spot with 1,000 joints. Is there fowl-play afoot?
And let’s not forget, a single ham now costs just 3 credits in the catalogue and will remain there permanently. Which makes the hoarding frenzy all the more absurd.
What does one do with so much ham? Theories abound:
- A ham tower, taller than the hotel itself
- A giant game of Guess What’s Behind the Ham
- Or perhaps, a Ham Maze, designed to trap the rest of us in confusion and jealousy.
A Community Divided
But the hammy chaos doesn’t end there. While some joyfully claimed a single ham for their Christmas banquet, others saw the event as a challenge – an opportunity to click their way to ham-filled infamy.
The event sparks both outrage and hilarity among the community:
- The Hamless Horde: Those unable to claim even a single ham, left to wonder how 10,000 hams could vanish so quickly
- The Ham Hoarders: Sitting atop their ham-pires, seemingly oblivious to the growing backlash
- The Jusice Seekers: Proposing that those with excessive ham stashes be punished with coal
That’s right readers, the suggestion to turn excessive ham quantities into coal has gained momentum, with many seeing it as the perfect consequence for those who took more than their fair share. after all, coal isn’t rare, isn’t tradable, and serves as a delightful reminder of holiday misdeeds.
Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
And just when we thought Ham Gate couldn’t get any spicier – Dave dropped a tantalising hint this morning:
“I feel like those taking 100+ hams will probably come to regret it. When attempting to use their hand…”
Oh, the drama! It seems the Ham Givers weren’t just a test of generosity, but also resulted in a clever way to reveal scripters, whos automated greed may soon land them in hot water – or worse, the ban pile.
For those who clicked their way to ham-hoarding glory: was it worth it? For those who cheated: your coal may await. And for the rest of us, let us enjoy the absurdity of watching hoarders grapple with the logistical nightmare of using 100+ hams.
A final world from Lady Pixelington…
Dearest Habbos, Ham Gate has been a festive delight, offering us laugher, chaos and plenty of lessons. To the Ham Emperor: enjoy your pork-filled reign while it lasts. To the hamless: the catalogue is calling. To the scripters: you’ve been warned.
As we look ahead to the holiday season, let’s remember the true spirit of the community: kindness, generosity and above all – a shared love for the ridiculous. After all, it’s not about how much ham you have – it’s about how much fun you had along the way.
Yours in festive folly,
Lady Pixelington's Society Papers 