Dearest gentle reader,
Happy New Year to you all! As the clock has turned and we find ourselves in a brand new year, I wish each of you nothing but joy, prosperity and magical moments ahead.
The Hotel is abuzz with excitement as always, and I eagerly anticipate the next grand movements within its storied walls. But even as we celebrate new beginnings here, all eyes seem to have turned to Hogwarts Origins. What an extraordinary spectacle it has been. And while I, sadly, am not in attendance, I have ensured that you are in the most capable hands imaginable for this week’s column.
Allow me to introduce the incomparable Rita Skeeter. Known far and wide for her sharp wit, piercing quill and unquenchable thirst for the truth (or something delightfully close to it), Rita has graciously agreed to take up the reins. Her reputation preceeds her, and I can assure her that her insights will be nothing short of captivating.
So, without further ado, I present to you Ms. Skeeter’s take on the intrigues, scandals and secrets unfolding at Hogwarts Origins. Hold on to your bobble hats, darlings – this is going to be quite a ride!
Yours in ink and enchantment,
Rita Skeeter’s Gossip Column #1
A mere seven days. That’s all it’s taken for Hogwarts Origins to explode into a bewitching brew of gossip, drama and scandal. Naturally, I, Rita Skeeter, have been watching closely.
First, let’s address the crispy-crunchy scandal rocking Gryffindor: User Howl has been blacklisted from Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. Yes, you heard that right! Word has it that his disdain for their delectable snacks – those charming Extendable Ears and scrumptious Skiving Snackboxes – has led to a firm ban from the shop. “Unappreciative,” Fred Weasley allegedly muttered. “Probably on a diet”. Oh, Howl, even Gryffindor bravery can’t save you from such public humiliation! Let’s hope your next visit to Hogsmeade doesn’t end with a trip to Madam Puddifoot’s for bland tea and disappointment.
Over in Slytherin, the drama surrounding G30 and Moaning Myrtle continues to escalate. My enchanted quill whispers that their feigned animosity masks something far juicier – a secret infatuation. Oh – to be a fly on the dungeon walls when Myrtle gets wind of this! Will G30’s true feelings emergy, or will this clandestine romance remain buried like a Basilisk’s fang in a chamber of secrets?
Hufflepuff, meanwhile, finds itself in the midst of a potential love story as Alfonso’s chivalry toward user Nineteen has tongues wagging. But wait! Could there be a twist? A well-placed source – who may or may not be a talking portrait – claims Alfonso was spotted exchanging unusually friendly smiles with a mysterious figure cloaked in scarlet. Is there a triangle brewing? How absolutely delicious!
Ravenclaw, the so-called house of wisdom, is not without its share of intrigue. While their leaderboard dominance has raised questions about dark magic, the antics of user Bab are stealing the show. Her curious habit of barfing around common rooms has the whole school speculating. A botched potion? A love spell gone wrong? A hair growth potion? Perhaps she’s simply allergic to her own success? Whatever the cause, it’s a messy mystery that’s proving impossible to ignore!
But wait, there’s more! I’ve unearthed whispers of the most scandalous tryst involving none other than a professor – who shall remain nameless for now – and a member of the faculty from Beauxbatons. Oh, how their letters just happened to find their way into my possession. Accidentally, of course. Could the blossoming romance bring an international scandal to Hogwarts Origins? Or will it merely inspire the next generation of witches and wizards to cast their hearts beyond our borers? Time will tell, my lovelies. Time will tell.
Finally, Gryffindor’s Professor Hannes finds himself under the microscope as rumours of favourtism swirl like Butterbeer foam in the Three Broomsticks. Is he guiding his students towards glory – or breaking a few rules to do so? Let’s just say, my Quick-Quotes Quill has been rather enthusiastic in capturing the whispers around the Great Hall.
Darlings, Hogwarts Origins is positively brimming with intrigue, and I promise you this: no secret, no scandal, no suspicious smile will escape my quill. Until next time, remember – when the truth is too dull, a little embellishment never hurt anyone. Well, almost never.
Yours in scandal,
Rita Skeeter
The only source for gossip that matters.
Lady Pixelington's Society Papers 